External Validation
The need for external validation and approval is slavery.
Did you brush your teeth this morning? What!!! No! You dreadful person, how can anyone love you anymore? And everyone you meet will secretly be wanting to wear a gas mask because of your halitosis, and people will be sniggering behind your back. The reality is that no one cares whether you brushed your teeth this morning or not. But, that no one gives a damn about you is not at the root of all this. Because you have been programmed to be polite and not do things that might be considered weird, you desperately seek the approval of people around you. But it goes much deeper than this. You want outside validation for your values, beliefs, goals, and feelings because you don't know who you are and lack the confidence that comes from self-knowledge. As a result, you may begin to question whether life has any purpose. It is no longer enough to trust your instincts and desires; you need some external authority figure to tell you what the meaning of life is. There is no shortage of people willing to tell you the purpose of life for a price - the same with how to live your life. Again, since your inner intuitions are buried under a ton of conditioning, you can’t even decide whether you want to spend the afternoon on the couch eating donuts or whether you should go to the gym. This need for external validation and approval is nothing but voluntary slavery. We are like animals that have been caged all their lives. When the cage doors open, the animals experience fear of escaping. Unbelievably, your cage's doors are open. Follow your instincts and feelings; the universe itself has given you the freedom to do that. The only person who needs to validate and approve of the things you do is you.