You, like everyone else, are driven by a survival and procreation drive. To this end, you work to earn money, eat, establish a place of shelter, seek help when unwell, look for a mate, and build a social context. The survival drive is instinctive; it lacks intelligence, does not reflect, and is driven by desires and emotions. At this level, we operate like animals, striving to persist until we die.
Unfortunately, we can also reflect on the facts before us. We know we will die, that everyone we know and love will die, that an individual human life is a futile undertaking, that we will suffer and decay as we grow older.
One of you is an instinct-driven animal that does everything in its power to persist, and the other knows that the entire project will bring suffering and death. These two entities cannot be reconciled. People often complain bitterly about life, but continue to do everything necessary to achieve some level of security and prosperity.
Two entities are sharing the same existence, and one cannot be understood in terms of the other. The solution to this is obvious: allow the two separate lives to coexist within you and give each of them its own space. Your animal will be happy with comfort, food, entertainment, companionship, and social interaction. The contemplative you will want to understand the nature of the nightmare you live in without denying the animal its needs. We do this anyway. Even the most deeply contemplative person needs to feed themselves, seek shelter, desire companionship (at times), and care for their body. The two aspects of existence—the animal and the thinker —can coexist side by side, provided they both understand each other. There is no conflict in the thinker seeing the futility of it all while the animal tucks into a feast. The wolf and the lamb can coexist provided they leave each other alone.